You are Beautiful!

The Beautiful me...

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. So the world will tell you.  The Bible on the other hand will tell you, You are made from the image of God. And not just that but,  You are fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalms 139:13,14). At the end of the day, whose report will you believe? My answer, It's a choice! Yes it is an individual's responsibility to choose what to feed your mind. Someone once said, what you feed grows.

Though for a moment,  I stop and think for someone to hear, they need to be told! and once they have heard, for them to believe what they are told, they need someone again to affirm that. Sadly, most people don't get that someone. Someone who will be there to tell and make them to believe in themselves. Someone to boost their self esteem.

Every daughter needs at least a male figure in her life to affirm her beauty. Fathers need to play that role very well and in cases where one is a single mother, they need to make sure that they let that baby girl know from a tender age that she is beautiful... hearing it over and over, she will grow in confidence and when she's all grown and get to the age of attracting men's attention, she will not be hearing it for the first time. And she will not be lured into deception by just a mere "you are beautiful" because it won't be news to her. She already knows and believes that.

For the better part of my growing up, no one had ever told me that am beautiful. At least my memory can't recall. (Yes even my parents) Actually, I heard it for the first time when I became an adult. In fact to be precise, in church and that is when I had given my life to Christ. (but it didn't sink in) I grew up knowing that beauty was not one of my privileges...  Someone once called me ugly imagine! And for the longest time, I would look myself in the mirror and confirm that in deed I wasn't beautiful. I thought beauty belonged to others, the light skinned and such.

To admit it, until very recently I was still struggling with my looks. OK. let me be honest, am still recovering because, time to time that feeling still comes.Someone would tell me am beautiful but deep down I would be like, that is just what they want me to hear but I know they don't really mean it. I would find other ladies beautiful and not me. I even avoided taking  photos and when I did, and let's say I happen to upload it on Facebook, people would like or comment but I will be like, whatever, I don't really think so...

Like me before, I know there is a baby girl (men too) out there and you feel you are not as beautiful. Maybe because you have never been told or simply because you were once called sura mbaya (ugly) by your peers while playing and you believed that.Or it was by your parent(s)/guardian/teacher/whoever, you know who. Due to that, you believed their word.Words are powerful, whether positive or negative.As a result, you might have developed low self esteem which has tormented you the better part of your life. But you can overcome that feeling. Like I mentioned earlier above, you are responsible for your own self and just because you feel nobody is there for you, you don't have to kill yourself in self pity and despair. Brace yourself. Yes by believing in who God says you are. Just like Sinach sang so powerfully in her song "I know who I am" enjoy listening!

SINACH - I KNOW WHO I AM Lyrics

You are beautiful, believe it!

Question: Have you struggled with how you look? Or has anyone called you ugly and you believed it? How are you overcoming that lie? What are you doing to believe in yourself once again? Let's share to encourage someone in the comments section below

Waiting without wandering... A life lesson.

The billboard on Waiyaki way that had fallen, leading to heavy traffic snarl up on nearly all nearby routes.

So the other day I spent the better part of my morning hours on the road, on my way to work. Thanks to the humongous billboard that fell, blocking both roads from and to town respectively. Unfortunately, it happened to be on the highway I use daily to go to work. I first heard of the incident on radio while I was still in the house as I listened to traffic updates but I thought to myself that by the time am ready to leave, the traffic would have subsided or at least over but I was wrong.

First shock, I got to the stage and there were no matatus. The very few that were operating had raised the fare to like three times higher than the usual one. Some actually four times higher....and to make it worse, they were coming when they were so full. That meant you pay that much and stand at the same time. I stood at the stage for few minutes stranded and wondering what to do. Then a thought came to my mind to call some guy I know that operates a taxi near my office and who happens to use the same route as me. So I  decided to call and ask if he had passed, and yes he had but thankfully, he had only gone a few metres ahead from where I was. Off course I was forced to walk to meet him there because he had offered to wait for me and help out.

Finally I met the guy and yes the traffic was right there.... Drivers were being advised to use alternative routes to avoid the traffic and so just like most people, we did the same. We took presumably a better option (we thought) for where we were going but as usual, because everyone else was trying to avoid the traffic, the likelihood is, you all find yourselves that way.

That was the case for almost everyone. Drivers choosing to meander through the traffic back and forth as they looked for alternative routes to beat the traffic. Now our driver, he decided to take another longer route that made us go all round only hours later to come back to the very same route we were meant to take earlier which was a very short distance to our destination. I thought to myself, what if  we had decided to just stay on the highway and hopefully wait for the slow moving snarl up to reduce? or hope that staying on course, the billboard was shortly going to be removed by the City Councils and the road will be clear? Actually that is what happened! by the time we got to our destination, the highway was clear.

One thing that came to my mind while still in traffic was, this is how often as the children of God we tend to make choices in life. As usual, we have a destiny for where we are meant to go. A purpose we are meant to fulfill in this life. A goal we are meant to achieve. A vision we are meant to make happen. A promise that God Has for us... But instead, just because the road starts looking like it's not moving because of obstacles (insert what you are facing) or adversities, we decide to take another route that we so think will help the situation. And so we start wandering through life, trying to help God to make things work faster for us. We meander and wander around life but truth be told, we are not helping anything!

I looked up the word wander and  this is how the Merriam Online dictionary defines it:-

1.  to move around or go to different places usually without having a particular purpose or direction 
2.   to follow a path with many turns
3.  to go away from a path, course, etc.  

Another great definition from the free online dictionary is :-

1. To move about without a definite destination or purpose.

2. To go by an indirect route or at no set pace; amble: wander toward town.

3. To proceed in an irregular course; meander.

4. To go astray: wander from the path of righteousness.

5. To lose clarity or coherence of thought or expression.

What we ought to do is, just to be still and wait without wandering. Its one thing to wait, and another to wait while meandering. Learn to TRUST in God who know the end from the beginning. Because He makes a way where there seems to be no way. He will remove for us the obstacles if we choose to wait well... If we choose to stay on the highway!

Have you of late found yourself in a situation whereby you are TIRED of waiting? You look at happenings in your life currently and wonder where is God in this? Is there a way out? How long Lord, how long? Hold on dears... Stay on course and have faith because the road is about to be clear. (Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see) Have some hope that there is a solution because, for sure there is.

Glamor or durability?

When buying an item, what do you consider most?

As for me, I go for glamor. The design. the color...  I mean, I am not about to go spend my money on some shady looking thing over there!

I always joke (but true in a way) that when I will be buying my car, I will go for the cute looking one. Cute here means the design must be unique, and it should be painted in my favorite color like lime green, hot pink, purple... you name all the beautiful bright colors you know of. I tend to overlook the main considerations like  the cost, fuel consumption, the speed and any other relevancies that one is meant to go for. Anyway, I know I will need guidance when the time comes.

Recently I bought two bags. Yes I looove bags. And shoes too! :-) Anyway, I got for myself this cute bags. One a travel bag and the other one just a usual handbag for day-day purposes. As usual, I went for glamor off course! I was so excited to have the bags but just a few days of using the handbag, I noticed that the straps were not too strong and it was obvious that the bag was not going to serve me for long. It was sort of disappointing but whom was I to blame but myself? There were other bags I could have picked that looked rather durable but me, I jumped on the glamorous looking one.

While I sat there feeling sorry for myself and regretting at the same time, It occurred to me clearly that this is how Christians we can be at times when choosing to follow Jesus Christ. Many a times, people tend to decide to follow Christ perhaps based on the promises they hear the kingdom of Heaven holds ahead for them. We tend to think that salvation is all glamorous, no more troubles or suffering, no more heartbreaks, no more betrayals,  no more, no more...

Then afterwards, there is the everlasting promised land flowing with milk and honey, a land where all the dangerous animals are friendly, a land where all we will be doing is sing praise and worship songs from dawn to dusk non-stop.

Above is what I can call going for glamor. Deciding to follow Christ because you think He will make your life all smooth. With such perspective, we tend to overlook the real relationship that we ought to hold in Christ. That when we decide to follow Him, it will be a life long commitment. That no matter what kind of trials may arise, we will soldier on and not give up on Him (backslide). That we will not start cursing God and start those questions of " Lord why did you allow such to happen to me?"  

God did not promise us a glamorous life all through in our walk with Him. In fact, He notifies us that there will be many afflictions! But again, He assures us that He will not sit and  watch us get tested beyond control.  Psalms 34:19-20 reads "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all. {20} He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.

As we follow Christ, it is important that our main focus be on our relationship with Him rather than what it comes with. A relationship that can not be shaken with the life's afflictions. A relationship that is not based on the good stuff only. Am not saying that Christianity is all about afflictions and hardships but just trying to stress a point. In fact it's so much fun knowing Christ. The best thing is that, there is enough grace to face whatever and He is there to fight our battles and to help us when our burdens become so heavy and unbearable.

Have you experienced any afflictions in your walk with Christ? What were some of your expectations when you chose to follow Him? If you are not yet following Him, what picture do you have in mind for living a life with Christ?

A mistress? Never ever!

Any woman who accepts to be some man's mistress commonly known in Swahili as mpango wa kando should know her value and worth and woman-up!

A mistress is a long-term female lover and companion who is not married to her partner; the term is used especially when her partner is married. The relationship generally is stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple does not live together openly. Also the relationship is usually, but not always, secret. There is an implication that a mistress may be "kept"—i.e., that the lover is paying for some of the woman's living expenses.

In the Bible, Mark 10: 7-9 " For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Notice, ....a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, NOT wives. And ....So, they are no longer two, but one.

Based on that, how does a third person come about??? Anyway I blame the "dark forces" a.k.a mashetani for that. It's not your will. But hey, you have a choice to let the "dark forces" influence you.

Before you accept to be this man's mistress, think. Think of the pain you are going to cause to his family. Think of how the children if any, are going to suffer because of you. Think of the way you are going divide attention and happiness between the man and his family. Think of the tears his wife is going to shed because of you.

Just so you know, the happiness of a mistress is just but limited.

There is no way he is going to leave his family because of you. No wonder he has kept you as a secret.

Well, sometimes it happens that you get to keep the man because he chooses to chase the wife away or she herself decides to walk away out of the humiliation the two of you makes her go through.

If in any case he decides to leave his family because of you convincing him by your threats, (you know those of...."mmh it's either me or her. Choose") just be prepared for a miserable life ahead of you because, you cannot ruin someone else's happiness and expect to be happy yourself. Never ever!

For some unknown and strange reason(s), I often tend to attract married men. It's something I have asked myself questions over and over but am yet to know why. And I know I need to seek divine answers concerning that because its really annoying! Note: I only said I attract them not that I have been in relationship with any. Or let me put it like this: They get attracted to me. You just don't know how upset I get when one approaches me.

The reason I get so worked up is because I am a victim of this inhumanity. I have seen my own mother go through the pain of losing her man (my dad) to some woman over there. Yes they are living miserably married after. Not that am happy about it, but it just confirms what I mentioned above. God is never going to be happy when you decide to destroy another person's life.

I remember the evening my mum packed her belongings and returned to her parent's home. She didn't decide to go. She was asked to, and to never dare take any child (me & my siblings) with her. Also NOT try to keep in touch with us by visiting. I was only ten years but the scenario is still so fresh in my mind as though it was yesterday. Mum was so pregnant with my baby brother now in high school - 3rd form. So pregnant here means, she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy the next day evening..... Imagine! How inhuman can a man get? She told me the story of how she walked kilometers and kilometers, so overloaded with her belongings.(in shagz there are no vehicles that one can pop in and drop off at preferred bus stop, you walk. okay that was then.....at least now its sort of developed). Lest I make you start wondering how shady my shags is :-) One would only need a vehicle for long distances. Long distance here is, when you are going to another town. Throughout the journey, she was in pain, extremely tired, mind you the amniotic fluid was pouring. That's what she told me.....

I don't like telling this story because it makes me want do give my flesh a.k.a the " old man" dominion.

Have I mentioned that I got to stay with my dad and my step mother at some point through my high school? Whaaat! that was the longest four years of my life.

To you man, I would advice you to never let your children have a step mother unless on basis that, their biological mum passed away or you never got to leave together after their birth due to mutual understating between the two of you. But still, this is only if it's necessary. If you can't raise your kids on your own and you must marry, then trust God for someone whom you know has a caring heart and will love your children as her own. There must be a few. I guess.

Thank God because of the grace He has given me and the ability to forgive my dad and my step mum. Otherwise, I will have a right to have them not to exist in my world.

So I hear this days there is a notion that has gotten hold of some sisters' minds that, there are no longer eligible men out there to be husbands. And so it's okay to be a second wife. Says who? That's crap.

Be informed that, whatever you make happen for another person, it will happen to you. If you really desire to have an enjoyable marriage that will function under faithfulness, trustworthiness, honesty and the works, then do not ruin someone else's marriage!

I will encourage you; WAIT for your own dude/man/husband. Am also waiting :-) and I will keep waiting because I know he will soon show up. You may ask how sure I am, Because God Himself has promised me that. He is not a man that He should lie and His promises are yes and Amen.

Isaiah 34:16 " Look in the scroll of the LORD and read: None of these will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together.

That's why I will never be a mistress.


Related posts:

1. WHAT IS YOUR VALUE?
2. So, you are waiting for Mr. Right.....are you a Miss Right?
3. What exactly defines a gentleman?
4. Humility is not a weakness

A simple thank you goes a long way.

Have you ever gone out of your way to give someone a gift and never got a simple "thank you"? or if you did get, it was just a casual one that left you thinking OK!...you know what am saying?

It happened to me the other day. I went out of my way with excitement to buy someone a birthday gift and up to now umm, my eyes are still glued to my phone lest I receive a call from the said person just to say aaaw...thanks I liked the gift very much :-). My love language is words of affirmation you can tell?. You see, I had spent the entire week wondering what to buy for them. Then viola! I got this great idea and bought some sweet things (Ha! so I think...)  Yes I was waiting for feedback so that I may know if I made a good choice.

Okay, the way I handed the gift was in a hurry maybe that's why I never got even a hug but at least I got a smile :-)

I knew we would catch up later and receive that tight hug you know! but nothing. Then  I was like...eeh why did I even bother? Instantly while I was still whining, this thought came to my mind; How many times has God blessed me with THINGS and I never even remembered to say a simple thank you?

How many times have I prayed and even fasted for God to bless me? To intervene in a tough situation? and yet when He did, I acted like it was my right to get it. Or all I did was just saying wow thank God I got this. Or even I did not notice the blessing when it came. So sad I even called it a good luck....a nice day for me. All the same knowing very well I don't believe in luck. By the way does good luck ever exist? Or I gave credit to the person whom God had used to pass the gift to me... asking God to return to them a hundred fold because they blessed me with something I really needed. Without putting God in the picture.

This got my heart so broken before God. I asked God to forgive me for ignoring Him even when He Has given me sooo much more abundantly far above what I had asked  and what I hadn't asked for.

The most precious gift I have ever received is Love, Mercy and Grace from God. So precious because, He went the extra mile to GIVE HIS ONLY SON to die brutally just so I may receive eternal life.

Yet, how many times do I just take time to thank God from the bottom of my heart for this Great Gift? I mean just dedicating special time to do so. When I wake up every morning, how many times do I even remember to thank God for the gift of life knowing very well its a privilege to see a new day? Do I make it a consistent thing to thank God for my family, for my friends, for my nation and for my Job?

You know, think about it, if God was a human being like me and you, He would have so given up on us a long time ago.

He does not come to us demanding for a "Thank you" and attention. He is such a gentleman :-) Not petty. So marvelous for me to fathom.

Just to mention and another privilege, Never in my entire life have I been sick to a point of getting admitted to the hospital. I don't know how hospital beds feels to lie on them and I do not wish to feel them any day. Another privilege, since the year began and its half way to end, I have not caught even a cold. I have not had a headache nor a stomachache or anything to make me take medicine.

What can I call this if its not amazing Grace?

Who will call me a friend when the relationship here is not always two way?

So Lord... please forgive me for the many times I have taken you for granted.(Ask me and like Simon Peter, I will deny three times before the cock crows) Yet its so true. Forgive me for not loving you unconditionally as I should. Forgive me for searching for you enthusiastically only when am in desperate situations...that time when am pressed between two rocks.

But how His  mercy endures forever!

Thank you Lord for Amazing Grace. Thank you for NOT giving up on me. Thank you for Loving me unconditionally.

Am truly Grateful.

What are you thankful to God about?share with us in the comments section below.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

1. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

2. WHAT IS YOUR VALUE?

3. Humility is not a weakness.

4. Starting well.