Humility is not a weakness.

I was chatting with two of my girlfriends some day, and the topic of our discussion was "What are some of the attitudes that God has dealt with in our lives?" One of us shared on how God has dealt with her pride and is still dealing with it.

You see, growing spiritually never gets to a point of  "I now know enough and am good in this area." It is a daily process and all you need to do is just to humble yourself before the Lord, and let Him point out any time the areas that needs more fixing. This girl believed/believes in herself extremely. Which is a great strength by the way but when it gets to a point whereby you cannot be corrected or you start looking down upon others, it becomes a weakness right there.

One funny incident of my friend's confessions that really made us laugh out loudly was when she was meant to be auditioned for some choir. So, the people in charge of the auditions asks her if she can sing and He! the girl was o-f-f-e-n-d-e-d big time. "What do you mean can I sing?" She thought to herself. As it was required therefore, she began singing with attitude just to prove that she can sing and this people seems to think she can not. In other words, to be auditioned was a way doubting her talent. She believed 110% that she could sing better. I mean, this was not going to be the first time for her to sing!

The obvious of the outcome was, Disqualified! The reason she was disqualified was not because she could not sing but because of pride that she had.

Since that time, it dawned on her that she was wrong. God began to deal with her thoroughly. She just realized that her pride was not going to take her anywhere.

Pride is one thing that God really hates. It was pride that made Lucifer (Satan) to be thrown down from heaven when he tried to exalt himself above God. Ezekiel 28:17 (NIV) "Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendour.So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings."

It is evident that no one has ever tried to uplift himself and succeeded. All who tried failed just like the story of the Tower of Babel in the Bible and so,1st Peter 5:6 says, " Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may in due time raise you up.

Whoever makes himself prominent will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be set high.

We serve a merciful God and of a second chance. All we need to do is just surrender. To come to that place where we can say, God am so sorry, I have tried to be the driver but ended up falling into a ditch and so, I need your help. It does not cost you anything to be sorry. It might be a process but God is always patient with us.

The prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 came back to His senses and decided to go and ask his father if could make him as one of his hired servants. see his words; Vs. 18 "I will rise and go to my father and say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I no longer deserve to be called your son; take me on as one of your hired hands." That is humility right there.Realizing and accepting your mistakes and knowing you need help.

Have you struggled with pride before? How did you deal with it? Encourage someone. 

or

Are you currently struggling with pride? Let us hear how you are willing to walk out of it in the comments section below.

So, you are waiting for Mr. right... are you a Miss right?

Every single girl dreams of hooking up with "Mr. right" some day.True or false?

Especially during this beginning of the year while everyone is making new resolutions.

By the way, does Mr. right ever exist? Yes. No. Maybe.

Mr. right here, is the famous tall, dark and handsome or a man who has taste in fine things like clothing and gadgets, treats you as a queen, has a good paying job with a big company, drives a nice big car and lives in some respected residential area and is generous to shower her with many gifts.

A part from him owning the "fine things", he's got to have other characteristics that most women would term it as "added advantages". He has to be a man who lets her pass through the door or the gate first, opens the car door for her, pulls a sit for her at the restaurant, is proud to walk with her while holding hands e.t.c

OK, well. I know it's not all women who are into all this, but let's be real. I hear every aspiring wife has this list of expectations of the would be husband and if they don't have one, then its considered as a serious requirement.

In pursuit to all this characteristics, it has led to prolonged singleness to some of my sisters. All I know from the knowledge I have acquired is that, NOT every man will have all this requirements. Surely sisters! don't you think that's too much of expectation from someone? or is it too overrated?

Off course every lady would want to be pampered, but watch out not miss the mark while focusing on the earthly things that fades away. I totally agree. No woman would want to hook up with some unkempt and irresponsible guy or a guy who does not value women and has got no respect to them whatsoever.

My point is, by the time a woman thinks of being found by a "Mr. right", she should have prepared her self to be a "Miss right" first. You can only attract one of your kind. So ironical it happens, we put so much focus on what we want and forget to consider who we should be.

You can not be asking God to bring along a man who will be faithful to you while you are sleeping around in your singlehood. A man who will respect and love you unconditionally while you are struggling with submission to those in authority over you. A man who will protect and take care of you while you are careless with your own self. A man who is hardworking while you are lazy and unreliable. I could go on and on but all am trying to imply is, before you ask for something, evaluate yourself to see if you can offer the same. And what you do now as a single woman, it will determine the future you want.If you know you are not so strong in any area, then you can start early preparations as the grace is ever sufficient and the Lord grants you your heart desires.

The book of Proverbs 31 in the bible inspired me to write this article after I read that chapter the other day and I was taken aback by the new revelation. It talks about the strengths of a woman. A Godly woman. The kind of woman that the man is told about her in Proverbs 18:22. She is a goodly portion and earns him favour from the Lord. 

From this chapter, let's have a look at some strengths and characteristics that an aspiring (even married) Godly wife should have in my own summarized form.

Reading from verse 10:

She is a woman of character.

She is trustworthy.

She is submissive.

She is wise.

She is hardworking.

She is responsible.

She is Visionary - she sees the future from now.

She is a protector.

She is descent.

She is not a gossiper.

She is a blessing.

She is praiseworthy.

She is irreplaceable or non-comparable.

She is God fearing - she reveres the LORD.

Who can find a woman with strength of character? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will never lack profit.

"Many daughters have done nobly, but you transcend them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who reveres the LORD will be praised. Acknowledge the product of her hands; let her works praise her in the gates.

And my prayer is that may every baby girl be found with this great qualities. Let's kill that notion of "This days it's hard to find a woman to marry." Let our characters be displayed in all that we do,wherever we go,and whatever we say.AMEN!

Starting well.

Towards the end of  2011, I attended a powerful kesha (overnight prayer meeting) and the minister of God was sharing with us in conclusion to a series of messages he had been teaching on, themed "Finishing well".

Obviously it was not finishing well the year 2011, but this journey/walk with our Lord Jesus Christ.

On finishing well, he pointed out that it requires one to be determined. To be determined is not a gift but a choice by the way. It is to decide or settle for something conclusively.

In my world this brand new year 2012, as everyone else is busy setting new year's resolutions, we are going to twist the "Finishing well" to "Starting well" as an idea for some resolutions to those of us who might find it helpful.

Pretty much, Starting well also requires determination.

For you start well, you need to:

1. Know who you are.

Its really hard to start well if at all you don't know yourself. 

Many of us tend to think that other people should be able to define us (including myself sometimes). 

Focus on finding yourself. When you know yourself, you will not struggle with what you want to become or about what others think of you.

2. know what/who you want to become.

 

Many people have dreams of power, popularity, wealth and many more but there is another kind of dream that is even more powerful and far more fulfilling. Finding and following God's dream for our lives. 

Search yourself and find that one thing that puts a smile on your face when you do it. Ask God for guidance and pursue it. 

 

3. Choose to be free.

(Galatians 5:1) "For this freedom Christ has liberated us. Stand firm, then and do not be held fast again by a yoke of servitude". This is one of the scriptures that am holding on to this year.  

You need to be free this year. Free from things that have been holding you captive (you know them). Take the initiative to set some goals for your life. Refuse to be a slave to your failures if any.

4. Take care of your relationships.

One of the greatest relationships you need to take care of, is with our creator. If you have a personal one with Him,take it a notch higher. If you don't have it yet, what are are you waiting for? His arms are wide open waiting to receive you.   

Your family should come first after God. Purpose to spend quality time with them. Cultivate that closeness that you share. Stand firm with them in whatever they might be going through whether good or bad. 

Your friends (those with good morals) also play a big role in your life. Communication is a key and is channeled from both sides. When it's one person driving the relationship and silence from the other end, then there is a problem. 

Relatives. See who you haven't talked to, called or visited in a long time and create time to do so. We need them dearly in our lives. (if you are not married yet, they are the ones that will fill a larger percentage of guests on your wedding day. you see!) :-)

5. Stick to your goals. Avoid procrastination.

It's almost a tradition that resolutions are made but very few are  achieved by the end of the year.Well,as we said from the beginning, determination is not a gift but what? a choice!. 

  

You make it a choice to make possible what you desire. No one else is responsible for your life but you. Purpose to complete tasks. Give yourself a deadline for your goals.Quit saying I will do this later.

What exactly defines a gentleman?

The new choice English dictionary defines gentleman as: A man of good family and social standing; a courteous; generous and honourable man; a polite term of address.

Now,as there is this saying in Swahili that says tembea uone mengi (travel to see a lot).hehe...I know that sounds like direct translation.Does it? but again its self explained anyway.

So, in my world and in the process of traveling, for sure I have seen a lot in regards to the definition above for a gentleman.In that case, I have been left wondering what is it that really defines a gentleman? and by the way,do you need to know me so that you can act like one? so that you can be courteous?

The beauty about blogging is that, I get to to let go of what/how I feel and somehow get relieved :-)

Here is one of my encounters with a not so gentleman guy.....but I don't blame him.Though, am going to use him as an example.

As I was walking home from work the other day , some guys who clearly looked like they were coming from a mjengo (construction site) happened to be coming behind me  and greeted me as they passed. Actually it was one of them who said hi. As usual, I did not keep quite (like some ladies do) when someone who does not know me says hello to me regardless of who it is.Though, it sometimes depends on how you approach me.

So, this guy after I have been nice to him by greeting him back, he started getting ideas of taking it further. This are guys who were walking faster while behind me,then after greeting me, they slowed their pace and the next thing he shamelessly tells me is, "madam uko smart, ni come for intro? " ("madam you look good, can I come for introductions?").Well at least he was a little courteous here to request. Then in my mind am thinking Ok! it has come to this now! off course I didn't answer.I decided to seal my lips and just ignore them because honestly!. The guy talks and talks but believe you me, I didn't even hear a thing of what he was saying.The only thing I remember is when he said, "madam na umesalimika tu poa, sasa umeanza kuringa? na vile unakaa mature.tumeona weeengi kwanza wa Lavi sasa wewe ndio nani?" ("madam and you responded well, now you have begun to feel proud? and the way you look mature. we have seen so many in fact those from Lavington so whom do you think you are?"). Lavington is another posh residential area over there near my place.

Let me tell you this got me into my nerves.But clearly, how do you even start giving this kind of a person a piece of your mind? But luckily we diverted ways.

Have you ever seen during rush hour when people are "fighting" to enter into a matatu (public transport) the way some men push women while they struggle to enter first? well,this happens mostly in Nairobi. I am not sure about other places though. This act really upsets me.How I wish all men were sensitive and treat women like princesses whether they know them or not. By the way,will you as a man do that to a lady you know very well? So why would you treat a stranger like that? It's a small world remember.You never know where we will meet the next time. 


To be courteous does not cost you anything.does it?

There are a couple of points that if I was a man, I would apply in my life so that every woman around me would feel appreciated,loved,cared for and most of all feel like she is a princess....

• I will let her go through the door first whether I know her or not.

It's really impolite when a man forces himself to pass first.especially in a public transport.(this is where you  loose a lot of marks as a man).

• I will share my umbrella.

Have you ever seen when its raining, and a guy has this big umbrella all by himself and a lady is being rained on? selfish!

• I will not squash her in a bus/matatu.

It's really mean when a man seated next to a lady in a bus takes up almost all the space while sitting legs apart forcing her to seat on half a seat.shameless!

• I Will help her to carry her luggage. 

When walking and you happen to see a lady struggling with her shopping,it is kind to just offer some help up to where you can.thank you :-)

• I will handle her like a lady.

Now, have you ever seen when a man is handling a lady like as though she is another man? digress!  

And for you man who beats up a woman,worse is when she is not even your wife yet.how?! that's the ungentlemanly of the highest degree.anyway....that's a story for another day.

So, always remember that to be courteous is a virtue.won't you?

  

What is the Ideal Christmas gift?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

WHAT IS YOUR VALUE?

I guess what is ringing in your mind after reading the heading above is, how dare she ask this question? Does she think I am a commodity to be valued by money? Relax! It is not that way.

This is something I personally have been disturbed with for quite some time now. If you have a yahoo account, probably you have gotten this in your inbox that so and so bought you on tagged. After getting these funny messages for quite some time, ignoring and deleting many of them because they are kind of a nuisance, one time I decided to open one and just see how on earth this person thinks I can cost. And there is even a price in dollars. Believe you me I did not start calculating the amount because I knew if I do, I will be very disappointed with whomever. Anyway it’s because it did not matter to me what a mere person will try to put value on me.

For many reasons, people tend to put value on others based on what they expect from them or let me say, what they perceive of them.

For instance:

To a politician, you are just but a vote.

In my Country Kenya, the general elections are just around the corner. The politicians are now trying “to be nice” to their potential voters. One thing that really amazes me is when they (politicians) see/counts people as votes. You will hear them say they are expecting a certain number of votes in a particular area rather than to say, they are expecting a certain number of voters.

To the Matatu crew (public service vehicle operators), you are just but the amount you are paying for that ride.

On many occasions, I have overheard the touts tell the driver beba pesa or usiwache pesa (don’t leave money). For the period you are in that vehicle, you are compared to money because that is what matters to them and not you as a person.

To a television news anchor, you are just but a viewer (mtazamaji).

They will greet you “good morning or good evening viewers”. You are just one who views or watches. Really! By the way don’t get me wrong here. Am just trying to prove a point OK!

To a radio presenter, you are just but a listener (msikilizaji).

They will refer to you as a listener.mmh! Though some presenters are quite considerate and they will acknowledge that they don’t take your listenership for granted. That is so awesome and you just don’t know what it means to me when I hear that. You know, there are so many radio stations this days that someone can actually choose to listen to but for you to identify one and stick to it, when you are appreciated its just makes you feel at home.hehe

This are just but a few I could mention.

While the world is trying to brand us, I have realized that many people as a result, suffer from identity syndrome in that, they cannot tell who they actually are.

Well I have some good news for you. You are not forgotten. You are a child of the most high God. He knows your name. He calls each one of us by our respective names. He knew you even before your parents conceived you. To Him, you are not just a vote, a viewer, or a listener but His beloved. You are sooo valuable to Him.

He went the extra mile and paid a huge price for you and me. That we may know and comprehend who we really are. He gave His only son Jesus, to die for me and you that we may be redeemed back to Him for we were lost. We didn’t have identity. Or rather we had a bad identity. We were branded as “the lost” imagine! But now we have a new name in Christ. We are called, the redeemed of the Lord. The friends of God, the children of God and the list are endless for what He perceives of us.

There is this powerful quote I read, though the author is unknown to me. It says, until you identify whose you are, then you will know who you are.

So, for you who already you have been given a new name after accepting Christ as your  saviour, why struggle with what the world says you are and yet you know whose you are? You have a new name so quit doubting about who you are. Have total confidence. You were bought with a veeery precious gift, the blood of Jesus. You are valuable!

And for you who are yet to accept Him, He is waiting on you my dear. This world has nothing to offer but to brand you some unworthy names. But trust me, you are worthy, you are valuable, you are special, yes you are! He is waiting eagerly for the day you will understand how much it cost Him for you to leave again. The day you will not let that precious prize go to waste and say, here I am LORD! I surrender all. Take me to your self.

Knowing who you are is depended upon believing in yourself. Know your value and stand firm in it.

Here are a few lines for you to help in believing in who you are:

• When the world tells you you will never ever amount to anything, Say NO am not, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
• When the world calls you stupid, say NO am not, I have the mind of Christ!
• When the world tells you can’t make it in life, say NO, I am more than a conqueror!
• When the world says you are a nobody, say you know whose you are!

You are Valuable….

STOP wishing to write for someone,Be your own Chief Editor!!!

This one I dedicate it to any aspiring writer out there (including me) or a writer already, but never been successful to have your articles published by the "media house".you have tried sending your articles to various places and the only response you get is maximum silence.Don't give up yet! just create your own blog and write your heart away.

Worst is,someone actually publishes your article but they never inform you about it.You get into utter excitement and/or surprise when a friend calls to tell you they saw your name in a certain magazine.So you actually buy the publication and its for real.Your very first article ever published!yey!!!. you sit there waiting just perhaps you get a call form the Editor. After along time of waiting,you decide to write an email to them for follow up just incase you will get any pay and you never get to hear from them forever.

That is exactly what happened to me, now a year and some months ago.I remember how much it cost me working on that article.The research I had to get from the internet because it was a topic that required either experience or I be very well informed.I remember going to bed at three O'clock in the morning and not to forget I was supposed to be going to work the next day.Oh,the the next few hours.The painful part is not even that I was never paid,but the fact that this was my first attempt as a writer and very fortunate for that matter to have it published. In return, what did I get?no motivation at all to keep writing. My enthusiasm was exchanged for heartbreak and no eagerness to write more.Yes I understand that the magazine is not doing well in the market but really?

Many thanks to my mum two and mentor,Anne Mbotela for pressuring me(in a good way) to write. As she would always ask me if am writing every single time we meet. Awww...and how she believes in me.God bless her.

Recently, I decided that you know what Jess, am not going to let my dream to be shuttered by someone I don't even know quite well.(by the way am currently working for one of the famous magazines in Kenya,doing something else not writing.and I've never mentioned to anyone about my interest). So, here I am. I decided to create this blog so I can be pouring my heart down and oooh... am having so much fun. First of all its my world :-) and I am the queen/president hehehe. Secondly, I believe its my tool to sharpen my skill on this journey of writing.On that matter,feel free to critique my mistakes any day you come across them because its a learning process. Politely though, I am a lady you know!

I was reading one of the daily newspaper the other day, and this article at the Jobs section caught my attention.The heading read, "Jobless? Be unique,think outside the box''.  So, I had to read and see what it was talking about. It talked about this Irish man by the name Feilim Mac An Iomaire. This guy decided to place a billboard reading: "Save me from emigration". For the effect,it had a picture of the 26-year-old towing luggage and facing national landmarks of selected cities across the world."Having tried and failed for months and exhausted all traditional job hunting avenues,I have decided to have one last throw of the dice to remain in Ireland before I am forced to look elsewhere for work and develop myself professionally," he was quoted.

This guy's act of faith managed to secure him a "dream job". Sounds like fiction right? but I thought this is awesome and challenging at the same time in the sense that, determination can sure work wonders.

Just to borrow from this creativity,you don't have to place a bill board literally like him, but hey! why not create your own blog and pour your thoughts down?because this will market as you never know who will read!this is internet. Well,this will work for you if you are like me. Am not reeeaaally (sorry, that's meant to sound like stressing) into writing for money.

May be along the way.... it will fall in place.

Stop waiting to see the day your articles will appear in someone's publication....it's not a bad thing but,if you get what am saying,you can do something before that.You never know where your step of believing in yourself and act of faith will take you.

Happy blogging!!!