What exactly defines a gentleman?

The new choice English dictionary defines gentleman as: A man of good family and social standing; a courteous; generous and honourable man; a polite term of address.

Now,as there is this saying in Swahili that says tembea uone mengi (travel to see a lot).hehe...I know that sounds like direct translation.Does it? but again its self explained anyway.

So, in my world and in the process of traveling, for sure I have seen a lot in regards to the definition above for a gentleman.In that case, I have been left wondering what is it that really defines a gentleman? and by the way,do you need to know me so that you can act like one? so that you can be courteous?

The beauty about blogging is that, I get to to let go of what/how I feel and somehow get relieved :-)

Here is one of my encounters with a not so gentleman guy.....but I don't blame him.Though, am going to use him as an example.

As I was walking home from work the other day , some guys who clearly looked like they were coming from a mjengo (construction site) happened to be coming behind me  and greeted me as they passed. Actually it was one of them who said hi. As usual, I did not keep quite (like some ladies do) when someone who does not know me says hello to me regardless of who it is.Though, it sometimes depends on how you approach me.

So, this guy after I have been nice to him by greeting him back, he started getting ideas of taking it further. This are guys who were walking faster while behind me,then after greeting me, they slowed their pace and the next thing he shamelessly tells me is, "madam uko smart, ni come for intro? " ("madam you look good, can I come for introductions?").Well at least he was a little courteous here to request. Then in my mind am thinking Ok! it has come to this now! off course I didn't answer.I decided to seal my lips and just ignore them because honestly!. The guy talks and talks but believe you me, I didn't even hear a thing of what he was saying.The only thing I remember is when he said, "madam na umesalimika tu poa, sasa umeanza kuringa? na vile unakaa mature.tumeona weeengi kwanza wa Lavi sasa wewe ndio nani?" ("madam and you responded well, now you have begun to feel proud? and the way you look mature. we have seen so many in fact those from Lavington so whom do you think you are?"). Lavington is another posh residential area over there near my place.

Let me tell you this got me into my nerves.But clearly, how do you even start giving this kind of a person a piece of your mind? But luckily we diverted ways.

Have you ever seen during rush hour when people are "fighting" to enter into a matatu (public transport) the way some men push women while they struggle to enter first? well,this happens mostly in Nairobi. I am not sure about other places though. This act really upsets me.How I wish all men were sensitive and treat women like princesses whether they know them or not. By the way,will you as a man do that to a lady you know very well? So why would you treat a stranger like that? It's a small world remember.You never know where we will meet the next time. 


To be courteous does not cost you anything.does it?

There are a couple of points that if I was a man, I would apply in my life so that every woman around me would feel appreciated,loved,cared for and most of all feel like she is a princess....

• I will let her go through the door first whether I know her or not.

It's really impolite when a man forces himself to pass first.especially in a public transport.(this is where you  loose a lot of marks as a man).

• I will share my umbrella.

Have you ever seen when its raining, and a guy has this big umbrella all by himself and a lady is being rained on? selfish!

• I will not squash her in a bus/matatu.

It's really mean when a man seated next to a lady in a bus takes up almost all the space while sitting legs apart forcing her to seat on half a seat.shameless!

• I Will help her to carry her luggage. 

When walking and you happen to see a lady struggling with her shopping,it is kind to just offer some help up to where you can.thank you :-)

• I will handle her like a lady.

Now, have you ever seen when a man is handling a lady like as though she is another man? digress!  

And for you man who beats up a woman,worse is when she is not even your wife yet.how?! that's the ungentlemanly of the highest degree.anyway....that's a story for another day.

So, always remember that to be courteous is a virtue.won't you?